Saturday aug 24
Surgery was completed Thursday, Aug 22. The surgeon hoped for a short(ish) laparoscopic surgery. She was not able to a biopsy that way, and ended up being more invasive (I won’t get graphic here, but def more healing required as more abdominal muscles were cut into). Healing will be slower, at this point we just hope it won’t slow down Knisleys ability to get into chemo.
We are impatiently waiting. It could take 5-7 days for biopsy results (updated note: the surgeon called confirming pathology of lymphoma and that Knisley’s care will now be with BC Cancer. The cancer has been diagnosed since end of June as lymphoma- by 3 specific scans; 2 CT with contrast scans and one PET scan. The biopsy diagnosis will give (because of actual tissue sample) the exact type of cancer, and subtypes. It will give a clear picture of the plan of treatment(s) that will be needed.)
As I think on the unknowns of what is ahead, I can easily fall into worry. When I awake in the morning, the ever present thought of the cancer wakes with me. I have to choose. Do I pick up my phone and start googling, those thoughts, or questions that crossed my mind in the sleeplessness of the night? Or do I choose to stop myself from letting my thoughts run away, to go to the unknown?
I can choose to think on a verse that reminds me of Gods love, or His help, of His strength. I can be grateful for what I see in the events of day. My mind can be peaceful. I can trust God as I see His fingerprints all throughout the day. So, here’s a short list of todays gratitudes:
Sleep- Knisley has finally had sleep for two nights in a row (it has been weeks since he’s been able to sleep).
Video calls – family far away, being able to see faces and share, talk, cry, and smile together.
Friends – frequent messages of encouragement and care.
Food from afar – lunch sent by my sisters.
Peace- of mind and spirit – even in scary moments.
Verses encouraging me today:
Psalm 32:7-8 Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Phil 1:20-23 According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
We do not have a death sentence with this cancer. We have an unknown prognosis at this point. But, I am grateful that we can have honest conversations about the future, about dying. About knowing we aren’t afraid of whatever the outcome is. Knisley and I have trusted in Christ for salvation. We know there is more than this life only.
1 Cor 15:17, 19 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.
I want to share what’s going on, but I don’t want what we share to be a heavy burden. I hope that sharing what it takes to get through each day, though not easy, we are ok. We will be ok.
Thank you for your concern and care for us, thank so much for stopping by.
Leave a Reply